All the Questions We Need Answered

Usually, a season of Real Housewives ends tied up in a nice little bow and wearing a pair of enormous Gucci-print sunglasses. Even before we see the title cards informing us where all the women are now (“Teresa is still married to a red-faced rage monster and drinking pineapple juice every day”), all of that year’s storylines are tidied up and all the conflict at least partially resolved. We go into the reunion not to clarify what happened, but to revisit it.

This season of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and its blockbuster Bermuda Triangle finale is quite the opposite. Until last Tuesday, many of us didn’t even know what a Reality Von (Tea)se was or who could possibly be running it. That all changed when Heather Gay stood up before her sisters in Housewifery and provided receipts 👏, proof 👏, timeline 👏, and screenshots 👏 that showed that newbie Housewife (and our Rookie of the Year) Monica Garcia was scamming them the whole time. And if that wasn’t dramatic enough, Heather finally ended a yearlong mystery and told us that, yes, Jen Shah is the one who gave her a black eye on a cast trip last season before Jen began serving her prison sentence for fraud.

While the finale created a sense of catharsis heretofore unequaled on a television screen, the two big reveals both came out of the blue, leaving us with more new mysteries than a Lost finale as we head into tonight’s part one of the three-part reunion. Here’s a breakdown of all the questions, both big picture and small, that we need Andy Cohen and the ladies to answer about how this went down, how it was allowed to happen, and what it all means.

• How did it happen? Was it a fight? Did Heather say something to Jen and she snapped? Was it an accident?

• Why did Heather decide to lie for Jen? Even after the initial lie, why did she keep Jen’s secret after she went to jail and fans pestered her about the black eye’s origin? In her speech to Monica, Heather insinuated that Jen was possibly keeping information on all of them that they were worried was going to be leaked. Is that why Heather kept quiet? And if so, what did Jen have on her?

• When did Bravo find out about the potential assault, and has it done anything about it? Apparently Bravo investigated what happened but didn’t have any footage of the incident, so did Heather lie? Is that some kind of HR violation? Could her job be in jeopardy because of it? (Please, like they could fire her after her EGOT-caliber performance.)

• Did the other ladies really not learn about the incident with Jen until Heather announced it at that dinner? Why did Heather decide to reveal it now? Will the evil-eye eye patch make a reappearance?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Higher than Denise Richards at a dinner party

• If Monica says it wasn’t her account, then whose was it? She mentioned several names who worked on the account that were bleeped out — are we going to find out who those people are?

• How, exactly, was Monica involved in the posting operation? She claims that she just leaked the Jen Shah videos to them, but can we believe anything Monica says at this point? Did she know that the other women on the show would be “collateral damage” in the Shah Squad’s takedown of their ringleader? What, if any, part did Jen play in this?

• Just what did the account say about all of the other women? When Heather mentions to Meredith, Lisa, and Whitney that Monica is Reality Von (Tea)se, they all immediately know what the account is, which speaks to its impact on the women despite its relatively low follower count. But the examples the show gave us seem a little weak. Is there more? Did the account delete all the non–Jen Shah stuff after Monica found out it would come up on the show? (Seems like yes.)

• Who is running the account now? Will they be making merch? And do we have to keep spelling it with those annoying parentheses in the name?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Andy will probably ask a lot of these, but will Monica answer them to fans’ satisfaction? That leads to an even bigger question …

• When did this whole thing start? Based on Lisa saying she used to do drive-bys of Jen’s house and accusations that she started DM-ing Jen Shah to become her friend, did Monica do all this once the show was on the air? Did it start before? Was Monica’s aim always to get on the show, or was that just that a happy coincidence that she ran with when producers came a-knockin’?

• Did she really think she could keep this account a secret while still getting to know the women intimately? Did she ever intend on telling the women about the account?

• Based on a leaked video of Monica and her mother shouting at each other after the Greek Easter party, it seems like their fractured relationship is real, but was mom in on this charade? Was her mother helping Reality Von (Tea)se too? Did Monica really make her mother walk home when she returned her car?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Even if we do …

• Did she really have an affair with her brother-in-law? Did her family really diss her at the last minute in Bermuda? Did she ever really think Angie K was in the Greek mafia?

• And what about her claim that she leaked only the Jen Shah videos? How can we take her word about anything when she’s lied about so many things both big (running the troll account) and small (never having been to Meredith’s store before)?

• Even if she “comes clean,” how will we know that is the truth? Can this saga have a fulfilling conclusion with Monica still around?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Monica will have answers, but they’ll just bring up more questions.

• We got a very good timeline from Heather in her finale confessionals, but we need a bit more detail. She says to verify she “called a friend at [bleep].” Okay, what is the bleep? Is it Instagram or Meta? Is it someone at the FBI? Is it a journalist who investigated it for Heather? Was it Bo Dietl? Is the bleep really just “Catch” again?

• If Jen Shah filed a cease-and-desist against the account and “Monica Fowler” in 2021 as some claim, did Jen tell Heather or any of the other women that Monica was the one behind it? If not, why? If she did, why did they all seem so shocked when it came up?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: If they bleeped it out, there’s a reason.

• Heather says there is a screenshot of Monica saying that she was going to use the account when she “applied” to be a Housewife. First of all, one doesn’t apply to be a Housewife, but did she? Did she ever tell producers about the account? (Seems like no, but this is not definitive.) If the producers did know about the account, did they put the women in harm’s way by hiring Monica? If they did know and kept it from the women, can they ever trust production again? Can we?

• When and how did they become interested in Monica anyway? Was it because of Jen’s case? Did someone else from the cast recommend her? (We know it wasn’t Angie K, who was all up in RVT’s DMs.) Does this mean that just anyone with a fan account can get on the show now?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Andy has to tell us whether producers knew about the account. The rest may be left unsaid.

• Part of the big reveal was that Monica was in Meredith Marks’ boutique when another member of the Shah Squad supposedly lifted a clutch. How did they know about the security footage? Was this something that Tenesha, the hairstylist who confirmed many of Heather’s suspicions, revealed? Did they then go back and get the footage to put in the episode? Did Meredith review it before saying Monica was in it?

• If we’re not accusing Monica of theft or at least collusion, what does that mean for Lisa Barlow’s missing $60,000 ring? Did Monica find it in the bathroom and take it? Did she steal it in the first place? Did other things go missing around Monica?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Low, but you know Lisa Barlow has her cybersecurity team on it.

• I hope not! If not, when did she get fired? Was it after the Bermuda Triangle or before? And if she is still doing Heather’s hair, why in the holy glam squad is that happening?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: This will be one of Andy’s first questions.

• Before Heather got up to accuse Monica and lay out her case, we had to endure another silly game in which the women asked questions of one another. Did they preplan the order? Did they preplan the questions? Were they doing this as a ruse to keep Monica engaged? Did they plan this all out for maximum impact? Did the producers help with this at all?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Bravo hates revealing anything that suggests the shows are preplanned.

• Ah, the biggest question of all. Could Bravo reward this behavior by giving her another season? If it does, will every owner of every troll account be trying to get on the franchise closest to her?

• If they do keep her, won’t the next season just be entirely about the women yelling at her and then ripping out a giant chunk of her weave at a cheesy fashion show, à la Danielle Staub on RHONJ’s second season?

• But if they get rid of her, how will the story continue? Will there be enough story line with just the core four and Angie K, our first alien Housewife, to provide a satisfying follow-up to this explosive season-ender?

Likelihood we’ll get answers: Usually, contracts go out three weeks or so after the reunion is filmed, which would be right around now. We likely won’t get the answer from the reunion, but considering Lisa Barlow is dropping hints that Monica’s been fired and Monica confirming as of January 2 she hasn’t been asked back, it’s starting to look bad. On the other hand, the rest of the cast has refollowed her on Instagram. Even reading the tea leaves is making it hard to get the tea.