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Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Critics Choice Association
The Golden Globes used to be That Girl. The award show where nothing really mattered and all the famouses were hammered and true curveballs were thrown in the trophy-giving arena. But then real life intruded on the fantasy, the inequalities and alleged predations within the HFPA ate it from the inside, and the show had to rebrand as a real awards show. The main headline from this year’s Golden Globes was that people didn’t like Jo Joy’s monologue. Oh, also whatever goss was being told by Selena Gomez, and that Paul Giamatti got In-n-Out after winning. But those aren’t things that happened on the stage. What happened on the Critics Choice Awards stage? Chelsea Handler (Jo Joy’s ex, weirdly enough) delivered a well-received monologue about wanting to fuck Marty Scorsese. Kieran Culkin talked about his ear hairs. Paul Giamatti shouted out his viral burger order, as well as pizza in a bag (???), trying to become the sponsor of both. Jonathan Bailey made a lovely cum joke while winning for Fellow Travelers. Here are the best moments, memes, and goofy little moments from the 2024 Critics Choice Awards.
We all have that hair that grows on the side of our ear. But do we have Sarah Snook to pluck it?
The camera cut to Greta Gerwig when Emma Stone was shouting out her fellow nominee, Greta Lee. Someone needs to see Past Lives like yesterday.
That boy is still in character.
😉
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