Photo: Shannon Finney/Bravo
Real Housewives of Potomac is in an unsettling state, trapped in the lingering shadow of the fight between Candiace and Monique. In the seasons since a wine night at a barn went horribly wrong, the cast has been retracing the same steps with very little forward progress. A major conflict occurs; the women are shaken up by the incident; people retreat to their respective camps to take sides; an uneasy truce is accepted that comes with a mutual vow of silence.
This has been the rollercoaster for quite some time. The scourge known as Michael Darby gets drunk and aggressive with Chris while threatening lawsuits; Ashley immediately invokes Monique’s name and claims Candiace is upholding a bizarre double standard. Mia loses her temper, throws a drink, and tries to fight Wendy; Wendy’s mistreatment by the group in the wake of the fight immediately sends Candiace spiraling, triggered by memories of how she felt maligned after Monique threatened to drag her and followed up on that threat. Now, Deborah causes a ruckus with Candiace that leads to Kiearna getting stitches, and the cast is consumed with analyzing it as part of a greater context involving Candiace, instead of recognizing it as a former friend of the cast completely losing control because she attempted to make a big show out of her return, was embarrassed by not getting the reaction she wanted, and let her pride take over.
Here’s the timeline of events as I can best piece it together from the collective recountings, audio, and leaked footage that has floated around social media: Deborah walked to Candiace to confront her after cameras went down. Candiace was understandably disinterested in engaging with a woman who attempted to spread rumors about her husband, and made that clear by dismissing her several times. Instead of disengaging, Candiace’s quipped that “the help is talking to me,” and Deborah attempted to throw a drink at Candiace. Kierna pushed Deborah back to create space, and Debroah threw her glass cup, hitting Kierna square in the forehead (leading her to need 11 stitches). Kierna immediately addressed the slight with her fists while Candiace grabbed a bottle and was restrained by Charrisse. As Kierna and Deborah were exchanging blows, another friend of Ashley’s in a yellow dress yanked Kierna by her hair, pulling Kierna and Deborah down to the ground.
As Karen points out, this melee seemed intentional and attention-seeking from Ashley’s friend group. None of this should have escalated as far as it did, and Deborah should not have even had access to the group on that level. Ashley, rightfully embarrassed that her event fell into disaster, can’t decide whether to admonish Deborah for her behavior or believe her version of events, which blames Candiace for escalating the situation by writing checks her mouth couldn’t cash — another instance of the remnants of the Monique fight rearing their ugly head. Robyn, who wasn’t there, is convinced that Kierna got caught up fighting someone else’s battle, even though Kierna has repeatedly stated (and it is captured on video) that she didn’t start getting violent until Deborah hit her with glass.
The fallout over the fight reverberates at the showcase for the cast photoshoot. In a throwback to season five, now it is Karen, not Gizelle, walking around with security, as if Deborah would ever be welcome to an all-cast calltime ever again. And instead of commenting on the quality of the photos — or lack thereof, especially when it came to Robyn’s Mariah and Mia’s Foxy Brown — guests can only gossip about the fight. Candiace’s sister confronts Ashley over her friends’ behavior. Gizelle’s stylist Kal states that Candiace should “be able to deal with what happens after,” a perplexing claim coming from someone who wasn’t there to witness what happened. Charrisse is walking around with a boot, her foot injury re-aggravated from restraining Candiace. The cast is gossiping about how Deborah continued to antagonize the situation the next morning instead of expressing any level of remorse. It finally sinks in for Ashley that her friends were the ones to ruin her big event, and she claims that she is putting her friendship and any future play dates with Deborah “on pause,” although given the progress of her divorce, who knows what that actually means with Ashley.
There’s an attempt to garner an uneasy peace that largely falls flat. It’s difficult to buy a group toast when Ashley is still attempting to cast blame on Candiace, instead of simply seeing the fault in bringing volatile women looking for attention to an all-cast event, and too many women are open to hearing out Deborah’s version of events for comfort. The women attempt to make a gesture to Gizelle’s family stresses; she looks genuinely scrambled over her father’s health, and rightfully so. The closing screens for the cast, however, reveal just how little happened this season. Wendy is hoping her YouTube venture sticks? Ashley is still not divorced? Robyn’s facial business still hasn’t opened? Candiace is planning on taking us even deeper into space? Karen got more plastic surgery? These are not season-ending arcs, they are quick updates you tell your girlfriends over brunch.
Mia Thornton, however, is unwilling to go down without a fight. As soon as news of her separation went public, the Thorntons allowed cameras back into their home, giving viewers insight into a marriage that has fully fallen into disarray. Gordon is living full-time in North Carolina, only coming up on occasion for childcare. Not only have Mia and Gordon separated, but Gordon immediately reached out to the men of the cast, Mia’s castmates, and TMZ about the situation, calling her a gold digger — a claim made all the more ironic by the revelation that Mia was regularly sending him money during the separation so that he could remain financially afloat. According to Mia, if money were her driving concern, she would have left years ago when her husband was indulging in strip clubs and other excess (a curious claim from a former stripper, but nonetheless insightful as to the ups and downs of their relationship). Gordon admits to being flexible with opening up the marriage after his bout with cancer, but accuses Mia of being in a 10-year affair with her high-school sweetheart, a radio personality by the name of Inc. Mia admits to an affair with him before they got married, resulting in a timeline that leaves open questions around the paternity of her eldest son – and reveals that Gordon once locked her in a room and took away her phone after monitoring their phone bill once Mia started wearing less and going out more. Depending on when you ask, it is not the infidelity that has Gordon incensed, but who Mia is associating with — and the fact that she not only failed to be discreet, but let the kids get involved.
We are being thrown into a rollercoaster of information, and it is complete whiplash from the fairly taciturn approach Kyle Richards has taken to addressing her marriage’s decline. Instead of telling us that this fiasco is not our business, Mia has invited us into all of her business and is letting us come to our own conclusions. It is a bold and chaotic approach that highlights her strength as a Housewife. Mia Thornton may not have the deepest fidelity to the truth, but she is here to deliver, and I can only respect that and acknowledge her high potential in helping deliver Potomac from the abyss of intractability in the seasons to come. As she says in the closing moments of the season, “the life I’m living is not what God intended for me” – and if there’s one thing I can 100 percent believe about Mia Thornton, it’s that she is dead set on freeing herself from any situation that does not particularly serve her anymore. That rash of selfishness, paired with her penchant for chaotic storytelling, is why she is destined to succeed on reality television, even as the rest of the cast around her flails.
As usual, let’s wrap up with a quick season rankings for the cast:
Karen – 7/10. She gamely attempted to keep the plot moving forward, and although she wasn’t successful, she looked good fighting. That said, I hope she’s ready to face the fire next season with her recent DUI charges – there’s no room for caginess and evasive antics anymore.
Wendy – 4/10. I understand that she had a hard season with the confrontational plotlines involving her and her family, but she handled those instances in a manner that is inadequate for her fourth season as a housewife. The longer she is on the show, the more uncomfortable she seems to become with the cameras. She needs to relax and find another way to open up with the fans that isn’t promoting a new business, or work on her other on-air talent aspirations away from Bravo.
Ashley – 4/10. Ashley didn’t get divorced, barely launched a clothing line, hosted one of the worst trips in Housewives history, and was afraid to open up about her dating life. At this point, she is only on the show to agitate the cast and deflect from the fact that she has very little going for her right now, financially or otherwise. She needs to find something engaging to share or be open to reducing her role to friend-of.
Candiace – 5/10. It has been hard to watch Candiace this season; the cast dynamics sent her into tailspin after tailspin. Not wanting to move forward with someone who you think is harmful for you is natural, but it is also bad TV. Candiace is unable to make peace with the fact that as time has passed, her reluctance to close the book on her conflicts with Gizelle and Robyn make her the aggrieved party in an unbecoming way, and her inability to regulate her emotions in conflicts make her look more like a brat than someone with a substantive issue. She has her entertaining moments, but if she is unable to find a path forward after this reunion, perhaps it’s time to look into her next steps.
Gizelle – 2/10. Gizelle thought she was making the ultimate power play this season by refusing to engage with the cast, positively or negatively, but it just made her sullen and uninteresting. I cared for half a second when she was dating again, but that curiosity came and went faster than Wendy’s business ideas. Her kids are headed to college now – if she is no longer interested in creating mess on the show, she needs to show us a side of her thriving single life that is compelling.
Robyn – 1/10. Words cannot express just how little I care about her miserable marriage. If the show is adding so much stress to her newlywed bliss, perhaps she can resolve the issue for everyone and focus on protecting her marriage and leaving the camera behind.
Mia – 8/10. I have already given the woman her praises, but she truly stepped up and tried to deliver compelling material as well as engaged with all of the cast. She continues to perplex and amaze me with all of her twists and turns, from the personal and emotional to the financial and fantastical, and I have a feeling that her post-marital era will be her most exciting journey yet. She is made for this.
Nneka – 5/10. Nneka wasn’t given much of a chance to flourish. So much of her story was embroiled in a back-and-forth with Wendy that we weren’t properly be introduced to her and her family. It’s unfortunate because the scenes with her sister were probably some of her most entertaining, but we ended up so consumed with the shrine of it all that we were rarely able to dig deeper into what she had to offer.
Charrisse – 6/10. We got the perfect amount of Charrisse this season, and I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s just not that compelling on camera, and that’s fine, but she is a critical piece to integrating the group. Also, she is owed her moment next season to crow in Karen’s face about her behavior with alcohol given the recent news.
Kiearna – 7/10. She is a welcome breath of fresh air, open to relationships with all the women, and gorgeous to boot – would love to see her develop on another season.
We made it through another season, folks. I can’t say it was enjoyable but I am glad we all endured it together. Enjoy the reunion!