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Photo-Illustration: Vulture
2023 was a breakout year for audiobooks — at least in terms of the social-media impact of two massive titles. Early in the year, Prince Harry narrated his own memoir, Spare, which included an oversharing scene in which Harry spoke calmly about his frostbitten penis. Then the audiobook of Britney Spears’s The Woman in Me, read by the actress Michelle Williams, became a sensation. Of particular note: this clip, the War and Peace of audiobooks, which stars Williams as Justin Timberlake saying, “Ohh yeaa fo shizz fo shizz.” Try not to listen at least twice.
The celebrity memoir is the audiobook in its greatest form. Some of last year’s best — in terms of entertainment value, intimacy, and genuine weirdness — came from unexpected sources like: Minka Kelly, Henry Winkler, Leslie Jones, John Stamos, Laura Dern and Diane Ladd, and, of course, Barbra Streisand, whose own narration clocked in at two days’ worth of material.
For 2024, the celebrity avalanche seems to be slowing. But to be sure, I’ll keep you updated in this column, along with all the other titles — thrillers, romances, self-help guides, TikTok sensations — you should consider listening to over the next 12 months. Hopefully, you’ll start loving audiobooks almost as much as I do.
Read by: Jessica Pimentel, Jonathan Gregg, Stacy Gonzalez
Length: 13 hrs, 36 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.1x
I have a hard time giving props to Reese’s Book Club, but this month’s selection is a ding-ding-ding winner. It focuses mainly on two women: the fierce, forgotten, and deceased 1980s artist Anita, and Raquel, a grad student who rediscovers Anita’s work several years later. The book is clever and original, but what’s more, Pimental, a star of Orange Is the New Black, reads Anita as if she’s in a fever dream. There’s a vibrant wickedness to her performance that no doubt will make this one of the best listens of the year.
Read by: January LaVoy and Will Damron
Length: 9 hrs, 18 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.9x
Everyone thinks Lucy killed her best friend Savvy back home in Texas. Years later, with Lucy on to a new — if unexciting — life in Los Angeles, a podcast hosted by the hunky Ben Owens tries to uncover the actual murderer. A lot of thrillers these days use the murder podcast as a plot device. This production simulates one better than any audiobook I’ve listened to, to an often hilarious effect. Also, LaVoy expertly voices one of Lucy’s funniest tics: imagining how she would murder nearly every person with whom she comes in contact.
Read by: Corey Brill
Length: 15 hrs, 22 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.2x
Scott Carson is a pseudonym for Michael Koryta, a thriller writer I’ve been obsessed with since reading Those Who Wish Me Dead. (The book is much better than Taylor Sheridan’s movie, with a plot twist I still think about.) The Carson novels have a supernatural bent, fitting in a universe reminiscent of Stephen King, but set in the Midwest, not Maine. This one’s about a suburban teenager named Marshall who interns with a private investigator to unravel clues about the disappearance of a young woman in the early aughts. Snakes factor into the plot here, which, in its dénouement, left me with a “what exactly just happened?” feeling. But the journey is creepy and trippy, enhanced by Corey Brill’s agility to slip between the canny private detective and Marshall’s innocent nostalgia.
Read by: Risa Mei
Length: 9 hrs, 23 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
I loved the audio of Sutanto’s novel Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, so I’m inclined to follow her anywhere. This is the third in a series about Meddy Chan and her meddling family, but it’s the first I’ve listened to. I’m sure the humor of this cozy mystery — about a missing Chinese New Year envelope in Jakarta — jumps off the page when you read it, but as narrator, Risa Mei truly elevates the experience to laugh-out-loud, even giving each of the four “aunties” a distinct personality. A delight, whether you like dim sum brunch or not.
Read by: the author
Length: 7 hrs, 7 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.2x
It came as a surprise to me that this memoir from RuPaul, one of the world’s more over-the-top celebrities, is actually quite sobering and subdued. Clearly, that’s how the Drag Race host wanted it. In turn, the book occasionally drags in parts, too, as Ru describes his slow and steady rise to fame, even if it was predestined by his mother, who named him RuPaul because she knew he would be a star. His drug-fueled, circuitous route to Significant Public Figure is still fascinating, just as it is to spend a few hours with a RuPaul whose performance here remains grounded.
Read by: the author
Length: 5 hrs, 3 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.8x
This pointillistic nonfiction account of growing up as a young model in the fashion industry is candid and direct. Meaning: At times it’s sobering, and at times it’s just jaw-dropping. It also helps that Russell, now 36, pulls no punches in her narration. She is a gripping companion sharing her journey, one that often illuminates the weird and unsettling power division between agents and photographers and the beautiful women who make some of the most iconic images in the world.
Read by: Jane Oppenheimer
Length: 11 hrs, 20 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
Sometimes, you just need to listen to a book about a lady from Boca Raton who finds her husband in flagrante delicto with another woman and starts her life over in big, bad New York City. Sylvia gave up her dream to be a wedding planner years before, but it’s not going to elude her this time around. There are plenty of contrivances here — especially Sylvia’s obsession with Sex and the City — but every so often, Sylvia’s path zigs where you expect it to zag. That’s no small feat. Meanwhile, Jane Oppenheimer gives all of Yablon’s characters plenty of quirky life outside of South Florida, including Sylvia’s best friend, a widowed cabaret pianist named Evie who becomes her roommate.
Read by: Krizia Bajos
Length: 8 hrs, 42 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.8x
This zany book follows Izzy, a failed Pitbull (the singer) impersonator who’s now decided his life needs to be a lot more Scarface. Like Carl Hiaasen, the author gets South Florida just right, here focusing on all the looney-tune characters in Izzy’s Miami existence. I may be yelling “timber” here, but the text is only heightened by Krizia Bajos, who is Cuban and Miami-born. She truly makes the already riotous references to Pitbull songs and Al Pacino lines just effervescent.
Read by: Kate Berlant
Length: 5 hrs, 26 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.65x
I love the Canadian writer Sheila Heti — especially her last novel, Pure Colour, in which she grapples with the death of her father. This is a different kind of book. It’s basically a scrambling of the author’s diaries, but all of the sentences that start with the same letter, A to Z, are placed in alphabetical order. I read about a third of it and I loved its deliberate weirdness, one that I could really only imbibe in small portions. When I saw that the genius comedian Kate Berlant would be narrating the audiobook, I decided to finish it by listening instead. Heti has definitely produced a deliberately weird experiment, but hearing it out loud transforms Alphabetical Diaries into a kind of spoken-word, longform poetry. Berlant adds that extra pizazz, so you really get a window into the creative mind as it shifts quickly from moments of despair to lightbulbs of insight to incidents of sexual desire to the recollection of totally random literary facts. One of my favorites here is under “P”: “Patricia Highsmith lost her virginity at Yaddo.”
Read by: Rebekah Hinds
Length: 7 hrs, 35 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.2x
Piglet, the affectionate but also upsetting nickname for the cookbook-author protagonist of this uncomfortable but un-turn-off-able novel, is told by her fiancé of an indiscretion just two weeks before their wedding day. Piglet isn’t ready to put the brakes on their relationship just yet, and instead she starts to go a bit out of control and maybe even to lose her mind. One of the best things about this listen is how many times Hinds, a British stage actor, needs to repeat the word “croquembouche,” a French pastry cake that Piglet is making for her own wedding reception. Every time she says “croquembouche,” the audiobook gets another kick in the pants.
Read by: the author
Length: 11 hrs, 34 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
How did I know this book would be entertaining from the start? In the first few moments, Billy Dee Williams, perhaps best known to contemporary audiences for his role in the Star Wars universe, dedicates his memoir to “all my wives.” That’s how. In fairness, Williams has only been married thrice. Still, the 86-year-old sex symbol from the Diana Ross films Mahogany (1975) and Lady Sings the Blues (1975), among many other television series and films, really knows how to turn on the charm. Just the way he pronounces the name of his most famous character, Lando Calrissian, is a gorgeous hoot. And he got to wear a cape! There are a lot of surprising anecdotes here about raising children in Hollywood, growing up in a privileged family in Harlem, and the kinds of trouble he got into with some of his female co-stars on the New York stage.
Read by: Arthur Darvill and Vanessa Kirby
Length: 9 hrs, 54 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
This British breakup book owes a lot to High Fidelity, and that’s not a bad thing. It’s told from the perspective of Andy, a sort of loser, aspiring stand-up comedian, who’s just been dumped by his girlfriend. Kirby makes a short guest appearance for an hour or so toward the end, but this is mostly Darvill’s show (he won an Olivier in 2023). He makes Andy quite palatable, in a befuddled way, especially when he reads his very Nick Hornby–like list of why he shouldn’t still be dating his ex.
Read by: the author
Length: 10 hrs, 14 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.8x
I used to cover Art Basel Miami from a social perspective for The Wall Street Journal. The free-for-all, jam-packed few days of pointless parties just made me bananas. I really enjoyed this exploration of the seemingly impenetrable art scene because Bosker really gets it. Her character studies of gallerists, painters, buyers, and up-and-comers are wry and perceptive. As the narrator of her own journey in which her subjects alternatively seek and shun her journalistic take, she is a terrifically funny tour guide. This is a real audio gem.
Read by: the author
Length: 10 hrs, 23 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.2x
Don’t be turned off by the generic title of this filmmaking memoir from Zwick, the co-creator of Thirtysomething and the director of Legends of the Fall and About Last Night. This is dishy, juicy audio. It includes amazing stories about: Julia Roberts, who flirted with playing the lead in Shakespeare in Love when Zwick was going to direct it but basically just vanished; Matthew Broderick, who brought his mother on to rewrite Glory; and several “Guess who, don’t sue” anecdotes, many of which I rewound over and over because they’re just so absurdly Hollywood. Reading his own work, Zwick is a nice combination of amazed and shocked that he has lived to tell his own tales. He’s circumspect about his successes and failures while also keeping an honest take on a nutty industry.
Read by: Julia Whelan
Length: 14 hrs, 57 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.9x
This is a highly addictive novel about Frankie McGrath, a California nursing student who volunteers to serve in Vietnam after her brother dies there. She experiences enough soap-opera twists and turns — love, friendship, trauma, depression, and disappointment — to make you want to go watch all four seasons of the late-’80s nighttime drama China Beach, starring Dana Delaney. You’ll be out of luck — I looked and it’s not streaming. That’s okay, because all 15 hours of Hannah’s novel are compelling, made only more so by audio pro Whelan’s sensitive narration.
Read by: the author
Length: 9 hrs, 39 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.9x
Memoirs these days have become more revealing. That’s a good thing. Otherwise, why bother? This one’s about “figure skating, fucking up, and figuring it out” from the perspective of Gold, who exploded onto the Olympic circuit in 2014. Gold calls her destructive inner voice “Outofshapeworthlessloser,” which is pretty darn relatable. There’s a lot of eye-opening drama here: failures, fat shaming, ice-skating scandals, controlling parents. Gold just really goes there in her emotional narration. It’s not a particularly important takeaway, but I’d still like to know: Did Taylor Swift invite Gold over with the intention of making chocolate-chip cookies, or did she invite her over to hang out and then they ended up making chocolate-chip cookies?
Read by: the author
Length: 11 hrs, 31 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
I love talking and learning about narcissism. It’s a buzzword that comes up in so many of my conversations, but I don’t truly understand it. This self-help book, read with distinctive command by the psychologist author, is more about “identifying and healing from” our encounters with the narcissists in our lives. I find it hard to come away from any advice book completely armed for battle with the insane people in my orbit, but I hope even a small takeaway will seep through. This month I’m carrying with me the idea that you shouldn’t try to reason or argue with a narcissist. All you’ll get in return, says Durvasula, is “a large bowl of word salad with some gaslighting dressing on the side.” I’ll take a chopped salad instead, please!
Read by: Patti Murin
Length: 14 hrs, 57 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.3x
I had a hard time finding audiobooks I liked this month. I loved spending time with Dan Stevens (Downton Abbey) as he read a British shrink in Matthew Blake’s thriller Anna O. But I just could not follow what was happening in the story at all. Ditto for Arian Moayed (Stewy on Succession), who is great company as the narrator of Kaveh Akbar’s Martyr!. But, the time and character shifts make the story a challenging listen. So it was a great relief to be immediately absorbed in Laurie Frankel’s new novel, which is, per the title, about family. Tonally on the bubbly side — there’s no time for depression here — the plot is a tad far-fetched. India Allwood is a stage actress who stars on some fantasy television series. She gives up two babies for adoption and then adopts some of her own. When her career approaches cancellation — she says something out of turn to a reporter — all her kids band together to save her. Murin, who played the original Princess Anna in Frozen on Broadway, keeps things breezy and refreshing. Her scenes of India struggling with coming into her talents at acting school — including playing a pregnant Lady Macbeth — are highlights.
Read by: Alex Jennings
Length: 8 hrs, 8 mins.
Speed I listened: 1.75x
Michaelides wrote the huge best-seller The Silent Patient, so he’s got a few tricks up his sleeve with this new novel — some more predictable than others. Elliot Chase, our unreliable narrator, owes a bit to Tom Ripley; he might also remind readers of Barry Keoghan’s character in Saltburn. Elliot obsesses over his friend Lana Farrar, a former big movie star (think Julia Roberts). They end up on vacation in Greece, and it becomes awfully cloudy to decipher what’s real and what’s a performance. At 66, Jennings, a British actor of stage and screen (The Crown), is probably too old to narrate Elliot’s nifty and treacherous rant. But, his impeccable accent keeps the already propulsive novel quite engaging, and moving like a steam train about to run you over.
Read by: Michael Braun
Length: 7 hrs, 54 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
Danielle Steel has published almost 200 books, but I’ve never read any of them. So as a resolution for 2024, I took the plunge. And you know what? I liked it. This one’s about a 62-year-old Hollywood icon, Ardith Law, who reminded me of a reclusive Michelle Pfeiffer. She has an affair with a much younger actor — I imagined Glen Powell — who has come on as her temporary assistant. (Don’t ask why.) Ardith’s story alternates with that of her estranged daughter, a plastic surgeon back in New York, who is also experiencing genuine love for the first time. Cue the butterflies, violins, and motorcycle rides to Malibu. Sometimes you just want an easy listen, and Braun’s masculine tones are like Manuka Honey.
Read by: the author and others
Length: 4 hours, 56 mins.
Speed I listened: 2.1x
As another resolution for 2024, I figured I should make a pledge to work on some of the writing projects I can never seem to finish. Or pretend to. This “guide to staying creative, focused, and productive all year round” features aphorisms and advice from such prolific writers as Rebecca Makkai, Elizabeth McCracken, Susan Orlean, Roxane Gay, and Bryan Washington. Thanks to Attenberg’s kindly vocals, it moves swiftly and encouragingly. With hope, some of the words of wisdom seeped through into my consciousness. At least one piece did, and for that I’m grateful: “Embrace your inner good enough.”
Read by: the author
Length: 8 hrs, 43 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
Much has already been made of this uncomfortably intimate memoir about a New York couple who open their marriage. Still, I wanted to hear it for myself. Why shouldn’t I be conversant in the trend of non-monogamy, the unavoidable topic du jour, even if most of my time is spent listening to audiobooks? Winter’s adventures in dating and fooling around as a married woman with children do not disappoint. The ways she narrates a French boyfriend (terribly) and a German one (even more terribly) are priceless. As jaw-droppingly blunt as Winter is, she serves as a reminder that maybe there is such a thing as TMI. Then again, I listened to the whole thing in a single sitting, so maybe I could use more excitement in my life.
Read by: Saskia Maarleveld
Length: 9 hrs, 16 mins.
Speed I listened: 2x
It’s been a long road, but I’ve finally come to accept that selections from the Reese Witherspoon Book Club are not the same as the Pulitzer Committee. Witherspoon describes this one as “everything you could want in a thriller.” I can’t go that far. This one felt kind of vague to me, as if it came out of a vape pen. The bad guy, for instance, is called Mr. Smith. But there’s definitely fun to be had in unraveling the identity of the real Evie Porter when another Evie Porter unexpectedly shows up in town. And Maarleveld, a prolific audiobook reader, heightens the excitement.
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